


your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots

by 5ftjewishcactus



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 6000 Years of Love (Good Omens), 6000 Years of Slow Burn (Good Omens), Angel Wings, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Conversations, Couch Cuddles, Crowley Created the Stars (Good Omens), Crowley Was Not Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Demon Wings, Kissing, Laughter, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, No Sex, No Smut, Other, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), References to Canon, Sharing a Bed, Sort of but not really soulmates, Strong Aziraphale (Good Omens), The Arrangement (Good Omens), Wing Grooming, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus
Summary: ‘What if the Almighty planned it this way all along? From the very beginning?’Following the failed apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale are moving towards a new relationship together. One day, while spending time together, Aziraphale offers to preen Crowley's wings and it sparks a conversations about wings, choices, free will, and love.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 115
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Good Omens Mini Bang





	your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Do It With Style Good Omens Mini Bang](https://do-it-with-style-events.tumblr.com/). Art by the wonderful and lovely [ineffablelovebirds](http://ineffablelovebirds.tumblr.com/). It was an absolute pleasure to work with Skele, their artwork is amazing and fits so well with the story and my depictions of Aziraphale and Crowley. Please shower them with lots of love as well. [Link](https://ineffablelovebirds.tumblr.com/post/622819306299883520/for-the-do-it-with-style-events-good-omens-mini) to their art post.

It was a quiet, sunny afternoon in Soho, only a few weeks since the failed apocalypse. Crowley was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the bookshop, his wings manifested into reality and stretched out behind him. Aziraphale was sitting on the couch behind Crowley, with Crowley’s left wing spread out across his lap. Fingers carefully moved along and through the feathers of Crowley’s wing. A tingle ran up Crowley’s spine, causing him to shiver and his wings to shake.

“Sorry,” Aziraphale whispered.

“’S alright.”

He carefully resumed running his fingers over Crowley’s wings, preening and exploring them. His fingers had teased a particularly sensitive area that had caused the tingle.

Following the almost-apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale had been spending more time together. There was something between them: a small, budding relationship that had been 6,000 years in the making. Now that they were on their own side, they were free to be together. But both were moving slowly. Crowley had waited so long already and he didn’t want to rush Aziraphale. He’d accepted back in 1967 what Aziraphale had said, that one day they could be together.

Now, with that day upon them, he didn’t want to go too fast and rush into whatever was blossoming between them. He let Aziraphale set the pace. A week earlier, Aziraphale had kissed him for the first time. Crowley had been pleasantly surprised.

Today was another one of those days. The wing preening had been Aziraphale’s idea. Crowley was used to preening his own wings, but when Aziraphale had offered, he couldn’t say no. Hadn’t wanted to, honestly.

“I’ve always loved your wings,” Aziraphale said, his fingers fixing barbules and vanes along Crowley’s secondaries.

“You’ve only seen them a handful of times,” Crowley replied.

“Only because you haven’t shared them more. I… I would’ve preened them before… if you’d asked.”

Crowley smiled. “Really? Wing preening is… intimate. I didn’t want to… um.. presume.”

“Oh… I...”

Crowley glanced over his shoulder to see Aziraphale blushing a lovely shade of pink.

“It’s alright, angel.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve let anyone preen my wings. Not since… since Before.”

Crowley nodded.

“No one else has touched my wings since… the Fall.”

“Crowley.”

The demon tried to glance at Aziraphale again, who was looking at him with such wonder and fondness in his blue-grey eyes.

Crowley shrugged. “I trust you.”

Aziraphale smiled. He continued working through Crowley’s wings, from his secondaries to his primaries.

“Did it hurt?”

“When I fell from Heaven?” Crowley chuckled.

“Oh… no. Well… yes… but I meant, your wings.”

“Everything hurt when I fell. It wasn’t an enjoyable experience.” Crowley’s fingers dug into the pillow he was sitting on as he looked down at his feet.

“I’m sorry, dearest. I wasn’t meaning to pry.”

“’S alright, angel. Just not something I care to talk about.”

It was silent for several long moments while Aziraphale continued to work, his fingers smoothing out and soothing along the coverts and alula feathers.

“May I ask one more question?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley contemplated answering with “you just did” but decided to be nice. “Yeah. One more.”

“What color were your wings before you fell?”

Crowley turned his head to look at Aziraphale again, brows scrunched in confusion. “What?”

“Well… I… I assume they were…” Aziraphale stuttered. “I assumed they were white once. Like mine.”

Crowley shook his head. “No. They’ve always been black.”

Aziraphale bit his lip and his fingers paused where they were on Crowley’s wing.

“Go on,” Crowley said, “ask whatever it is.”

“Are the other demons’ wings the same as they were Before?”

Crowley sighed. He knew they were in for a conversation, one that he wasn’t thrilled to have while sitting on the floor. He tucked his wings away and stood up, moving so he could sit on the couch next to Aziraphale.

“Not really, no. Well… at least the few I’ve seen anyway. Most demons have the typical bat-like wing. Higher-ups, like Hastur, Ligur, Beelzebub, Dagon, they all have different wings, like the Archangels did. Different types to fit their new forms. Lesser demons tend to stick to the basics. It’s why humans depict demons as having bat wings. Most of the demons early humans saw were bat-winged lesser demons.”

“Oh.”

Crowley nodded. “Most demons don’t show each other their wings. Not unless they’re trying to make a point.”

“It has been a long while since I’ve seen another angel’s wings, now that I think about it.”

“Wings can be used as a show of strength, but they can also be a weakness. It makes sense that angels, and demons, tend to keep them hidden, even from each other. It’s why I kept mine hidden, especially in Hell.”

Aziraphale nodded. His hands were resting in his lap and he was picking at his fingernails. Crowley reached over and placed his hand on top of Aziraphale’s.

“What is it, angel?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale held Crowley’s hand between his own. “Our wings are the same. Except for color. But they’re both…”

“Swan wings.” Crowley had looked it up once, wondering what bird his wings resembled most. He liked swans. Found them interesting. Elegant and vicious. “You know, swans mate for life.”

“Do they?”

Crowley nodded. He’d read that somewhere, years ago. If his wings were swan-like it certainly explained, on an internal level at least, why he kept coming back to Aziraphale.

“Most lesser angels, the few I remember from Before… they had white duck wings.” Aziraphale’s thumb smoothed over Crowley’s hand as he spoke. “It’s the reason most angels were depicted as having white wings. The lesser angels going down to Earth. Archangels have different ones, distinct wings. Like Gabriel and his pigeon wings in their remarkable grey and purple. Michael and her stark white dove wings. Uriel and her eagle wings, and even Sandalphon with his hawk wings. But I never saw another angel with swan wings like mine.”

Crowley took a deep breath. He could hear in Aziraphale’s voice that the angel was ramping up to a big question. An important question. And he suspected he knew what that question was going to be. Aziraphale’s finger shifted and he linked them with Crowley’s, giving his hand a squeeze as he looked at him.

“Who were you before Crowley?” Aziraphale asked.

“I was no one. A lesser angel. I worked under… uh— what’s his name? Starmaker. Archangel. He was a bit of a prat, from what I remember.”

“Crowley, you can’t call the Archangel Raphael a prat.”

“Why not? He was one. Just like Michael is a wanker and Gabriel is an arsehole.”

Aziraphale sighed. “Did any other angels work with you? Under him?”

“A few others. We were all just assigned to help create stars and nebulas and galaxies. He told us what to make so we did.”

“Alpha Centauri?”

Crowley smiled. “I may have gone off-book on that one a little bit.”

Aziraphale chuckled. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss against Crowley’s hand.

“You technically didn’t answer my question.”

“I did. I was a lesser angel. I helped design stars. I wasn’t important.”

“Making stars was important. But that’s not what I meant, Crowley.” Aziraphale looked at Crowley, his blue-grey eyes staring into Crowley’s golden ones. “What was your—?”

“Don’t, angel.” Crowley’s grip tightened on Aziraphale’s. A warning. He didn’t mind sharing some of his Before self with Aziraphale, but that wasn’t something he was ready to share yet.

“Alright, dearest. I’m sorry. I don’t want to overstep.” Aziraphale kissed his hand again. “Thank you for sharing with me.”

Crowley shrugged. “Yeah. I do trust you, Aziraphale.”

“I know, darling.”

Crowley quirked an eyebrow at that. Aziraphale smiled, a little smirk. There hadn’t been too many conversations about the status of their relationship, but clearly, Aziraphale was adjusting to something. Usually, he only called Crowley “dear” which he called everyone. But now he’d said “dearest” and “darling” and Crowley was curious to see what other terms Aziraphale might say when allowed.

He also thought he might need to test out his own. Angel had been an easy name to call Aziraphale. He was an angel, so anyone above or below listening would think he was only calling Aziraphale what he was. Humans, somewhere along the line, had turned it into a term of endearment. So humans listening eventually just assumed that they were something. And Crowley had been fine with that. He didn’t know if Aziraphale knew or if it had just been so common for Crowley to call him “angel” after so many years, that he didn’t question it.

“I could preen your wings if you’d like,” he offered. Felt like he should, after Aziraphale had done the same for him.

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“I’m offering, angel. I want to.”

Aziraphale nodded. “Well then, I wouldn’t mind. Though… I apologize that my wings aren’t nearly as beautiful as yours.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Your wings are fine.”

Aziraphale let go of Crowley’s hand and moved to sit on the pillow on the floor. Crowley shifted so he could more easily access Aziraphale’s wings and waited. Aziraphale fidgeted for a moment, adjusting his sweater and his bowtie before he finally manifested his wings. Crowley stared. Aziraphale’s wings weren’t bad, but it was clear that Aziraphale hadn’t been quite as up on his preening as Crowley tended to be.

Crowley reached out and carefully touched Aziraphale’s right wing. “Oh, angel. They’re beautiful.”

Aziraphale glanced back at him, a small smile on his lips. Crowley began by carefully letting his fingers run along the primaries. Aziraphale slowly relaxed as he moved along each feather, fixing barbules and vanes as he went. They both sat silently for a while, the way they had when Aziraphale had preened his wings earlier. Crowley had years of practice preening his own wings but he’d never preened another’s. Not since Before. It really was an intimate thing. The trust needed to let someone else touch one's wings. Crowley knew that Aziraphale trusted him. Had known that for years, given that the Arrangement wouldn’t have worked if he didn’t. But the level of trust Crowley was being given, Aziraphale’s wings spread out for him and only him.

He released a shaky breath, his fingers stilling where they had been working along Aziraphale’s secondary coverts.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked.

“’M fine. Sorry.”

Crowley continued working, focusing on the task at hand instead of on the beating of his heart. He loved Aziraphale so much and he wanted so badly to tell him that, but he didn’t want to go too fast for the angel. He’d almost said it then, with Aziraphale’s wings beneath his fingers. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He needed to wait, let Aziraphale set the pace for things like love confessions.

“Raphael, what’s he like these days? Or do you not see him? He still making stars?” Crowley asked, trying to distract himself.

“Oh. Uh—” Aziraphale sighed. “He… he disappeared not long after the war. Or so I’ve been told. No one knows where he is now.”

“Oh.” Crowley frowned.

That didn’t sound like the archangel he’d known, who was all about rules and regulations and doing as you were told. Unless something had happened following the war. Something that had caused him to leave. Or worse. Crowley wouldn’t put it past the other Archangels or the Almighty Herself to have cast him out if he’d made too much fuss.

“If it wouldn’t be too… ah… crass to ask, what are the other higher ranking demons’ wings like?” Aziraphale asked.

“Well… uh— been a while since I’ve seen any of those demons’ wings. But last I knew Beelzebub had giant fly wings. Dagon had fish fin looking wings, though xi rarely had them out even in those early days. Hastur and Ligur had sort of bat wings? Webbed wings of some kind. Like uh— the flying lizards.”

“Crowley, lizards don’t fly.”

“No, I know. But you know the ones I mean. They’ve got those webbed wings that let them… glide. That’s what Hastur and Ligur’s wings looked like.”

“The lizards don’t fly, so how would they fly?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them fly. Maybe they don’t. Maybe it’s all for looks. Maybe they have to climb into trees and glide like the lizards do.”

Aziraphale laughed at that, a deep belly laugh. Crowley laughed too, the angel’s laughter was infectious. Eventually, their laughter died down and Crowley moved onto Aziraphale’s left wing.

“So you’ve never seen another demon with feathered wings? Like yours?” Aziraphale asked.

“Nope. Never. I guess mine were the only ones that didn’t change after the fall. I don’t know why. Maybe because I didn’t want them to. I like my wings. Always have.”

Aziraphale nodded. Crowley nodded too, even though Aziraphale couldn’t see him. He thought back to his time in Heaven, to being an angel. Falling had hurt. Which was an understatement. Feeling Her grace leave him as he’d been thrown out of Heaven and into the sulfur pits had hurt more than anything else Crowley had experienced at the time. The only thing to even remotely come close to that type of pain had been thinking Aziraphale had been killed by Hellfire in the bookshop.

When Crowley fell, he was sure his wings had burned and charred like so many others he’d seen. But when he’d finally climbed his way out of the pits and cleaned himself off, he’d found his wings still black as night. Charred slightly, from the sulfur. But after giving them a good preening, on his own, he found them to be the same. Strong, black swan wings. He’d hidden them away those first few days in Hell. Hadn’t let anyone see his wings. Wouldn’t do to show any sort of weakness and Crowley’s still angelic appearing wings would be just that.

He’d planned to never show another soul his wings for the rest of his demonic existence. But then… while slithering around the Garden of Eden, he’d caught sight of those beautiful white swan wings. An angel standing atop the wall. So he’d slithered up and shifted to stand next to the angel, his own wings proudly out on display. And oh, the angel with the white swan wings, Aziraphale. He’d stolen Crowley’s heart.

“You’re the only being I’ve shown my wings to since I fell,” Crowley said, his fingers stuttering over Aziraphale’s primary coverts as he spoke. “Well, except Adam.”

“Oh,” Aziraphale whispered.

Crowley finished preening Aziraphale’s right wing.

“All done,” he said.

Aziraphale tucked his wings away and carefully stood up. He turned to face Crowley and held out his hands. The demon took them and let Aziraphale pull him to his feet. Once he was standing, Aziraphale pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s plump middle as Aziraphale held him with his arms around Crowley’s shoulders.

“Thank you. For the preening and telling me about Heaven and Hell.”

“Yeah. Thank you, too.”

Aziraphale slowly pulled back from the hug and looked at Crowley, a smile on his face. He reached up one hand and gently cupped Crowley’s cheek.

“I’ve never told you how beautiful I think your eyes are.”

Crowley blushed and leaned into Aziraphale’s palm. “Th- thank you.”

Aziraphale smiled and placed a quick kiss against Crowley’s other cheek. Crowley’s blush deepened, his cheeks growing heated and he sputtered several disconnected syllables. The angel chuckled.

“Angel,” Crowley finally managed.

“My darling.”

More syllables escaped Crowley’s mouth as his golden eyes completely covered the sclera.

“Angel, my angel.”

“Yours. Always yours.”

Crowley regrettably let go of his hold around Aziraphale’s plump middle to gently hold Aziraphale’s face and kiss him. Aziraphale kissed him back, his lips soft and warm against Crowley’s own.

“Angel,” he whispered.

“Darling.” Aziraphale moved back far enough so he could look into Crowley’s eyes.

Crowley smiled, those three little words on the tip of his tongue again but he held himself back. Aziraphale kissed him again, a quick peck of lips and then smiled at him. Crowley smiled and decided he wanted to do something nice for Aziraphale so he glanced at his watch.

“Somewhere to be, darling?” the angel teased. 

“No.” Crowley shook his head and put his arms back around Aziraphale. “Nowhere else I’d rather be. Only wondered if it was anywhere close to lunch or dinner time. Thought maybe we could go out for something. If you wanted.”

“Oh. Well, I thought maybe tonight we could order in.”

“Anything you want.”

Aziraphale smiled. Crowley pulled him back over to the couch and once they were sitting comfortably, he pulled out his phone and began looking through the various restaurants that offered delivery. Aziraphale rested his head on Crowley’s shoulder. After scrolling through several options, they opted to have Pad Thai delivered. Crowley tucked his phone away again and wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s middle.

“You’re so good to me, Crowley,” Aziraphale said.

“You’re the good one, angel.”

Aziraphale huffed. “I mean it, Crowley. I know you don’t like it when I call you nice, but you are nice. To me.”

“Of course I am. You deserve only good things.”

Aziraphale smiled again, his round cheeks dimpling. They sat together in comfortable silence for a while longer while they waited for their food to arrive. Crowley kept an eye on the delivery from his phone, but most of his attention remained on Aziraphale. He was happy to keep holding his angel love close.

“I was thinking,” Aziraphale said, after a while.

“Yeah?”

“About our wings. About what it might mean that they’re both swan wings. That yours didn’t change when you fell. How we kept finding each other in those early years, before the Arrangement.”

Crowley nodded. “And?”

“Well, I thought about something you had said.”

“I say a lot of things. A lot of it rubbish.”

Aziraphale teasingly smacked his arm. “You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. But I meant specifically what you said the night the world didn’t end. When you said ‘What if the Almighty planned it this way all along? From the very beginning?’ What if she had?”

“What if she did? You’re the one always saying Her plan was ‘Ineffable.’ But what would our wings have to do with it?”

Aziraphale was quiet a moment, clearing taking the time to think. Crowley waited and wondered himself if he’d been right. He’d only gone up to introduce himself to Aziraphale back in Eden because he’d seen Aziraphale’s wings that matched his own. It had drawn him to Aziraphale, for that first fateful meeting. But that couldn’t have been the Almighty. He couldn’t let himself think that anything involving his life after the Fall involved her. He wouldn’t.

“How did you find me in Mesopotamia?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley thought back. It was so long ago. “It wasn’t like I was looking for you. I was in the area, causing trouble. Heard about the big boat and went to investigate. You just happened to be there and I thought I’d tease you, about the sword thing.”

“And in Golgotha?”

“Well, I knew him, remember? Showed him all the kingdoms of the world. He was… a good man. I was there to watch, to… mourn I suppose. You were there and it made me angry, the thought that you were involved.”

Aziraphale nodded at that.

“And Rome?”

“That was all you. I was just in the area. I was in a foul mood and wanted to drink. Walked into the nearest tavern. I wasn’t specifically looking for you. I don’t think I even knew you were there. At least not consciously.” Crowley wasn’t sure where Aziraphale was going with his thinking but Crowley wasn’t liking it. “And besides, you approached me, remember?”

“I know. I sensed you when you walked in. Heard you, too. I was… I don’t know. I guess I’d hoped, given everything that happened after Golgotha, that perhaps…” Aziraphale took a deep breath. “Perhaps she’d forgiven you, too.”

“’Still a demon then?’” Crowley quoted. “No, not that lucky. I did enjoy our time together, then. You brought me out of my bad mood. Tempted me to oysters. They’re still disgusting.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “You have no taste. They were delicious.”

Crowley chuckled. Then his mind returned to their conversation and he thought back to the next time he saw Aziraphale, after Rome.

“Wessex was interesting. Didn’t mean to find you then. Didn’t know you were there until you showed up.”

“I certainly wasn’t expecting to find you there. Black Knight.” Aziraphale smiled. “I had to go back to King Arthur and lie to him, that I had dealt with you hoping you wouldn’t meddle where you shouldn’t.”

Crowley laughed. “Oh, well now I wish I’d stuck around. But it was damp and cold and I hated it, so I left. Headed for a dryer and warmer climate. Lied to Hell. It was fine. Nothing ever came of it.”

“I wasn’t in Wessex much longer. I did what I was supposed to for King Arthur. But Heaven recalled me, told me my job was done. I wasn’t there for Arthur, in the end. I wish I had been.”

Crowley gave Aziraphale a hug. “I’m sorry, angel.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve made peace with my past. Or I’m trying to. I know there was only so much I could do. Especially back then.”

Crowley nodded. He thought about the years following Wessex. He and Aziraphale rarely crossed paths between 537 and 1020. Brief passes, sometimes nothing more than a glimpse.

“Is that why you agreed to the Arrangement?” Crowley asked.

Aziraphale nodded. “I realize you were right. Heaven wasn’t paying attention and there were things I didn’t necessarily want to do. For them. In their name. Letting you do them instead, felt like minor victories.”

Crowley’s arms tightened around Aziraphale and he kissed his temple. “Then I’m glad to have taken those tasks for you.”

Aziraphale smiled and held to Crowley just as tightly. “All the years that Heaven wasn’t kind, I knew I could always count on you.”

“Well, not always.” Crowley frowned, as he remembered their fight in 1862.

Aziraphale shifted so he could look at Crowley, his blue-grey eyes searching Crowley’s golden ones before his look softened. “Crowley, I was the one who let you down, back then. I should’ve trusted you, about the holy water. I was so scared of losing you that I pushed you away. I told myself it was better that way, that it would hurt less than if I let you in and you left me. Besides, you came back to me when it mattered.”

“I couldn’t very well leave you to be discorporated by Nazis.”

Aziraphale chuckled. Crowley smiled and kissed his cheek. He had come back for Aziraphale then because he had to. It had been long enough and Crowley missed his angel. Even if Aziraphale hadn’t been his yet.

“Besides, you relented eventually and gave me the holy water.”

“Yes, because you were planning a heist. Poorly, I might add. You might as well have put up posters saying “Dear Aziraphale, give me holy water or else!” with all the noise you caused in the area.”

Crowley gaped at that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was very secretive with my heist plans. Very secretive.”

Aziraphale gave him a look, a look the angel had given him before when Crowley had been doing something particularly and glaringly idiotic and annoying. “Really, dearheart? I heard about it because you were planning in Soho.”

Crowley’s mind momentarily shorted out on hearing “dearheart” uttered so casually and softly by his angel, before he caught up to the discussion at hand. 

“All the seedy, criminal types were in Soho at the time.” If his arms weren’t still around Aziraphale, he might’ve gestured with them. “Not my fault.”

Aziraphale gave him a disbelieving look. Crowley sighed.

“Fine. Maybe I was trying to get your attention. I wasn’t trying to get you to give me the holy water, but… I wanted you to know I hadn’t forgotten and that I would do whatever was necessary.”

Aziraphale reached up and gently cupped Crowley’s cheek. “I know. And that’s why I decided to trust you and gave it to you. I trusted that you truly wanted it, for insurance. It was also why I said what I did then. I wanted to remind you that I wasn’t going anywhere, that we could have a future one day if you just waited for me.”

Crowley nodded and leaned into Aziraphale’s palm. “I know and I did wait for you. Would’ve waited longer, if you’d asked me to.”

“I think we’ve both waited long enough. We’re on our side now.”

“Yes. Our side.”

Aziraphale pulled Crowley in for a kiss. Crowley moved one of his hands from around Aziraphale’s middle to gently cup the back of Aziraphale’s head. The soft, warm press of the angel’s lips against his own felt like coming home. Felt like greeting the morning sun. Like being whole. Crowley could’ve easily kept kissing Aziraphale but there was a knock at the door that interrupted them.

“Why?” Crowley asked as the knocking persisted.

“I believe that’s our order, dear,” Aziraphale replied, with a chuckle.

“Right. Food. You wait here.”

Crowley reluctantly let go of Aziraphale and stood to answer the door. He generously tipped their delivery person, who was a university student trying to make ends meet. She deserved it, given that the food had arrived on time and was still very warm. Crowley returned to the back room and began setting out the food on the table.

“Would you like some wine?” Aziraphale asked.

“Yes, please.”

Aziraphale stood and went to the very back of the bookshop where he kept his wine collection. Crowley unpacked their food, loading Aziraphale’s onto one of his own dishes. The angel returned with a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. It was their favorite and seemed fitting to drink it whenever they were together. Though with the change in their relationship, Crowley thought they might need to invest in more wine. Which, for them, wouldn’t be a problem.

“Here,” Crowley said, handing Aziraphale his dish while Aziraphale handed him the wine.

“Thank you, dear.”

The angel sat in his favorite chair by the table. Crowley poured their wine and set Aziraphale’s glass where he could reach it. He then sat down on the couch and sipped his wine. Aziraphale took his first bite of his Pad Thai, humming his appreciation as he chewed and swallowed. Crowley watched him, as he ate several more bites. Crowley loved to watch Aziraphale eat. Food made Aziraphale happy and if Aziraphale was happy, then Crowley was happy. Plus, the way Aziraphale’s face lit up as he savored all the delicious flavors, always amused Crowley.

“So, I was thinking,” Aziraphale said, taking a sip of his wine, “about the Almighty having planned everything.”

“No, not this again,” Crowley groaned.

“Will you listen, please?”

Crowley sighed but nodded. He took a swig of his wine, as Aziraphale took another thoughtful bite of his meal.

“I was simply thinking that the Almighty, in the Ineffable Plan, might’ve given us a little push. In those early days. Like in Rome. Neither of us had any reason to seek the other out then, but we did. You found me, by chance, and I approached you, despite having no reason to. That might’ve been Her. And again in Wessex. A little nudge, to ensure we saw each other. To ensure we kept being aware of each other.”

Crowley thought about it, mulling over the thought that they’d been nudged to find each other all that time until they started the Arrangement and set themselves up in London. But he couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that She had planned for them, for their feelings for each other. She wasn’t the cause of his love for Aziraphale. He’d fallen because he’d asked questions. Had doubts and uncertainties. He still did, most days. But one thing he knew for certain was his feelings for Aziraphale. He knew that he loved him, so very much, and that it had nothing to do with Her. Those feelings were his and his alone. 

“Alright,” he said, looking at Aziraphale, “say that I do go with that. But that’s all the credit She gets.”

“Crowley.”

“No. I will concede that the Ineffable plan wanted for us to be acquaintances, at the very least. That we needed to be aware of each other, for everything else to happen. But,” Crowley sat up and set his glass down on the table, “I refuse to believe for one moment that somewhere in the Ineffable Plan,” and here he gestured wildly, hands moving across the open air, “it says “Crowley and Aziraphale fall madly in love.” She does not get credit for that. That was not Her. That was us.”

Aziraphale grinned, his round cheeks dimpling. “You’re madly in love with me?”

Crowley stuttered, realizing what he’d said. With a sigh, he leaned forward. “Yes, I am. Because loving you is maddening for me. Absolutely. Six thousand years, I’ve been head over heels in love with you. And it's been really annoying, how much I love you. But I do love you. With my whole, withered, demonic heart.”

Aziraphale set his dish down and stood, so he could stand in front of Crowley and gently held the demon’s face between his hands. “Oh, Crowley. Your heart isn’t withered. Not when it’s so full of love. You know I can sense love, right?”

Crowley swallowed and nodded.

“All afternoon, I’ve been feeling it coming off of you in waves. And knowing that it’s all for me, despite how difficult it must’ve been for you. I know I haven’t been easy to love, Crowley. But thank you.” Before Crowley could protest being thanked, Aziraphale kissed him. “I’m madly in love with you, too.”

“Angel. My angel, love.” Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s waist and pulled him down onto the couch as he kissed him again.

Food and wine forgotten about, they stayed on the couch curled together as they continued to kiss. It was easy to keep kissing when breathing wasn’t really a necessity for ethereal and occult beings. And Crowley had been ready to keep kissing Aziraphale before they’d been interrupted. There might have also been a small part of Crowley, subconsciously, surprised to find that Aziraphale would gladly ignore food in favor of his beloved. Not that Crowley had ever truly thought that if made to choose between Crowley and food, that Aziraphale would pick food. But Crowley had wondered, with food in front of him, what Aziraphale might do. Turned out, Aziraphale would put aside food for love.

Eventually, they did stop kissing and simply laid on the couch together, Crowley curled up against Aziraphale’s chest. Aziraphale’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him close while he listened to Aziraphale’s heartbeat.

“I do believe you’re right,” Aziraphale whispered, as one of his hands rubbed circles against Crowley’s back.

“Yeah? About what?” Crowley asked.

“About us. That it was us. We choose each other. Again and again.”

Crowley glanced up at Aziraphale and smiled. His heartbeat in time with Aziraphale’s. “I’ll choose you again, every day, angel.”

“And I choose you, Crowley. Always.”

Aziraphale kissed Crowley’s forehead. Crowley closed his eyes and let himself be lulled to sleep by the comfort his angel offered him.

*  
When he woke later, he was no longer curled up with Aziraphale and he was no longer on the couch. He sat up and looked around, brows scrunched in confusion. He was on a bed in a bedroom, that was definitely not his own.

“Aziraphale?” he called.

“Be right there,” came Aziraphale’s voice from another room.

Crowley frowned but stayed on the bed. He glanced at the sheets underneath him, with their soft tan and cream colors. He eyed the blanket folded at the foot of the bed, noting the familiar tartan pattern.

“Is this your bedroom?” he asked.

“Yes,” Aziraphale answered, as he walked into the room.

“You have a bedroom? You don’t sleep.”

Aziraphale sat on the edge of the bed closest to Crowley. “No, I don’t. But I occasionally like the idea of curling up under the sheets and reading a good book in bed.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know that.”

“Yes, but you love me anyway.”

“Someone help me, I do.”

Aziraphale smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.

Crowley smiled at him and scooted over, so Aziraphale could sit on the bed properly. “So, why are we in your bedroom?”

“Well, I got peckish and wanted to finish the Pad Thai but I didn’t want to wake you. So I carefully carried you upstairs.”

Crowley stared at him, eyes wide. “Carried me?”

“Yes, dearest.” Aziraphale chuckled. “I was Guardian of the Eastern Gate for a reason.”

Crowley’s cheeks reddened as he blushed at the idea of his soft, fat angel carrying him. He covered his face and groaned. “Oh, angel.”

Aziraphale laughed this time, another one of his deep belly laughs. Crowley moved his hands from his face and smiled at him. At how happy and beautiful Aziraphale was. He shifted to sit closer again, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale’s middle, his hands cradling that soft stomach. He kissed Aziraphale’s cheek and rested his chin on Aziraphale’s shoulder.

“So, I had a thought about our wings,” he said.

“Oh?”

Crowley nodded. He thought a moment about how best to explain his thoughts.

“Well, they’re like swans wings, right?” Crowley waited a moment and Aziraphale nodded, indicating that he was following along. “And I read that swans mate for life.”

“That is actually correct,” Aziraphale added.

“Good. Well, my thought was… maybe we could change them?”

“Change them?!”

“Yeah. Not too much. Maybe like… make them match.”

“But they already match.”

“I know, but maybe they could match in color.”

“Oh, but I love the color of your wings.”

“Well, what if we both had black wings?”

Aziraphale frowned. Crowley sensed he’d perhaps overstepped. He sat back, pulling his arms from around Aziraphale’s middle.

“Alright. Never mind then. Was just a thought.”

Aziraphale’s frown didn’t disappear and Crowley feared he’d upset him too much. After a moment, Aziraphale bit his lip and scooted forward a smidgen. Crowley was about to protest, to try to pull the angel back, and apologize when Aziraphale manifested his wings and spread them out across the expanse of the bed in front of Crowley.

“Your turn,” Aziraphale said, one of his wings dipping to poke at Crowley’s leg.

Crowley scooted forward far enough that he could manifest his wings without hitting them against the headrest. Once his wings were out, he spread them out like Aziraphale’s, bringing them slightly forward so he could touch the edges to Aziraphale’s. The angel smiled and shifted to lean back against Crowley again, who wrapped an arm around him, while his free hand reached up to touch one white wing.

“I like our wings,” Aziraphale said, as he reached up to hold Crowley’s hand against his chest. “I like that they’re white and black separately because it represents what we represent.”

“Good and evil?” Crowley asked.

“No. Choice. Free will. We both made our choices, whether for good or evil or in between. All the way back to the Beginning.”

Crowley could hear the capital in the way Aziraphale said the word and knew he meant even the choices they’d made that led to Aziraphale staying an angel and Crowley becoming a demon. As much as Crowley liked to say he didn’t Fall, he sauntered vaguely downwards, he had still made the choices that led to that. No amount of excuses, no amount of claiming he hung around the wrong people, could change the fact that he’d still made those choices. And sitting here with Aziraphale, their wings out but together, Crowley had no regrets. Not when his choices had brought him here. To be able to sit with the being he loved more than anything in the universe.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Crowley’s fingers ghosted over the top of Aziraphale’s wings, causing the angel to shiver. “They’re our wings. A reflection of who we are and who we choose to be. Together.”

Aziraphale smiled and pressed a kiss against Crowley’s cheek. “Exactly, my love.”

Crowley blushed at the term but squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. He rested his chin against Aziraphale’s shoulder and let his fingers continue to tease against Aziraphale’s wing.

“If you keep that up much longer, you’ll undo all your hard work,” Aziraphale said, another shiver running through him.

“All the more reason to touch your wings more.”

“Oh, you wily serpent, you.”

Crowley laughed. “I can be very clingy, angel. Now that you’ve got me, you’ll find me impossible to get rid of.”

“Well, then good thing I don’t want to get rid of you.”

Crowley moved his hand away from Aziraphale’s wings to wrap around his waist and gave him another squeeze. “Love you, angel.”

“I love you, dearheart.”

With a small turn of his head, Crowley was able to kiss Aziraphale. Soft angel lips against his own, surrounded by his angel and all the love and light that Aziraphale brought with him. All the love and care and wonder that Aziraphale brought into Crowley’s life. Aziraphale shivered again as their wings brushed against each other. Crowley shivered, too, and clung to Aziraphale more. They stayed curled together for a long while after, neither one wanting to move or leave the other’s side. They had nowhere to be, no reason to leave. Nothing was keeping them apart any longer and Crowley was more than fine with staying right there with his angel.

Eventually, they put away their wings and moved to lie on the bed, so Crowley could curl up against Aziraphale. His arms wrapped around Aziraphale’s round stomach and his head resting on Aziraphale’s plump chest. Aziraphale’s thick arms wrapped around him and held him close. Crowley didn’t sleep, he wasn’t tired after his earlier nap. He simply enjoyed being able to lie there and exist. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr [@5ftjewishcactus](https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/) or on twitter on my main [@5ftjewishcactus](https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus) or on my sfw gen fandom [@2ambiace](https://twitter.com/2ambiace) or my dbh [@asexualhankcon](https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon).


End file.
